The 5 places you shouldn’t go after smoking.


You are slightly stoned and don’t know where to go? After our best places to be high, here are the places you have to avoid at all costs.

Number 5: The night club
Clubs are noisy, busy and very costly. It’s a great night out if you want to flirt or dance, but if you’re super stoned, you risk feeling oppressed pretty quickly.
The writer’s tip: Pick a nice bar. You’ll be able to talk and interact with people at your own pace. You’ll get to know people who are more chilled out.

Number 4: The Bal des Pompiers in France
This is especially the case if you live in Paris, where firemen have the same status as the police. So, like in a nightclub, you will be in an agitated environment, but most of all, surrounded by armed forces who know very well how to notice someone who’s smoke too much dope. Avoid this at all costs if you’re ever high in Paris on the 14th of July!
The writer’s tip: Buy a firemen’s calendar when they come round houses for donations, they are indispensable. The firemen, not the calendars.

Number 3: A conference or in court
You’re going out with an art student. She proposes to smoke a joint at her place before going to a conference with a theologian who specialises in 14th century medieval art. Of course you’ll say yes, it’s just a little joint at her place, two things you like to hear in the same sentence. But believe me, it’s a trap.
The writer’s tip: Hide in the bathroom and find an independent Iranian film to go and see with her. You won’t be more interested, but you’ll be well hidden in the dark. (You’ll also have an excuse to hold her in your arms).

Number 2: Any night, public transportation
It’s already horrible to be stoned inside where there’s no way out. Confined into a metallic tube, you suffer those looks from everyone, in total paranoia. You’re certain that all the passengers in your compartment knows you’re high. Also, night transportation often comes with some quite violent and dishonest people. The author of this article has had his phone stolen about ten times in public transport, and almost exclusively at night. Avoid being an easy target for thieves.
The writer’s tip: If you smoked, you will definitely be less careful, chose an uber or a taxi. Better to lose 15 euros than your whole wallet.

Number 1: Any shopping centre during sales season.
A place which is rammed with security, pickpockets, tourists and police. If you were going to do the sales high, in a shopping centre, it’s that you wanted to suffer. But why so much hate?
The writer’s tip: If by chance you find yourself in this situation, imagine yourself in ‘Man vs Wild’ as Bear Grylls. It will definitely be more fun than reality.


Mike Teeve

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